Flashlight Farmers
What Do You Do With a Rotten Egg?
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I have an egg problem. One of my chickens decided she wanted to start a family and was determined to sit on the eggs. So I let her. After all, after they hatch maybe I'll have some hens instead of half a dozen roosters. Unfortunately, she decided to hatch her eggs in the other chickens' favorite nesting box. Did they move their egg-laying activity to one of the empty boxes? Heck, no. They just sat on the mama chicken and laid their eggs on top of her. The eggs rolled down her back, settled to the bottom and became one of the clutch she was determined to hatch. So I had one little chicken trying to cover about thirty eggs.
This cannot work. At some point or other each of those eggs rotated to the outside of the group and mama couldn't keep it the proper temperature. Out of that thirty egg batch, two of them became fluffy little chickies. The rest of the eggs are lying there, unwanted and abandoned. They've been there four weeks now.

In the nesting box next to it, there's another clutch of a dozen eggs. At some point, hen #2 decided she wanted to be a mama and started sitting on them. Two weeks ago she abandoned that nest and took residence on top of the chicken sitting in the first nest. Both hens think they are the mother of the two little chickies and follow them everywhere. It's so cute. But I digress…back to the egg problem.

You would think 42 old eggs would be enough of a problem. Do I ever do anything in half measures? I also have three guinea hens. They've been laying eggs also, but not in a central nest. Their eggs are scattered willy nilly about the pen and backyard. I kept meaning to pick them up…..but every time I thought about it I was sidetracked by a goat nibbling at my backside.

I was walking around the yard, trying to keep my clothing from becoming goatbaby's meal, when I felt something crunch underfoot. I had just enough time to dumbly perceive that I'd stepped on a guinea egg when …… peeeeeYOOOO, the stench reached my nostrils. You know the term "rotten eggs"? Those two little words are not descriptive enough. This was a smell that clung to the nasal passages, enveloping me in an almost visible cloud of putrescence that followed no matter how fast I tried to run away. I had to leave my shoes outside for two days before I could stand the stench long enough to scrub the soles clean.
I can hear you thinking, Why doesn't the dippy woman just throw them away? I'm glad you asked that question. How would you dispose of a massive amount of rotten eggs? I have trouble collecting fresh eggs without cracking them. I thought about carefully wrapping each one in bubble wrap, sealing them inside a large box and anonymously dropping them in with my trash at the recycling center. Yeah, that should work…. right? Except the recycling center compacts its trash. I don't wanna be standing there when my trash is compacted. They'll never let me past the gates again.

I could put them in some unsuspecting businessman's dumpster. Even if they made it through the week without being crushed by the additional trash thrown on top, eventually the trash collector is going to come and dump the load into his truck … and then he's going to COMPACT it. One rotten egg almost made me lose consciousness. I couldn't foist six dozen rotten eggs on some poor Joe just doing his job.

Sigh. This is getting ridiculous. That's it. I've got to get rid of these eggs. I'm thinking full hazmat gear with an oxygen tank, roping off an area around my home equal to a city block, an airtight safe and a forklift to get the whole package into a dumpster.

Anyone got a better idea?


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